First Move

It starts with Facebook.  Too many things do, these days.  The social network has insidious and far-reaching tendrils, and too often we forget the impact of what we share there. 
One of the more annoying (to me) trends is for people to post pictures that are really just written messages.  Big letters and irritating fonts do not improve the quality of the message.  An interesting question: do I need a thousand words to sum up a picture of twenty words? 
The one I’ve been thinking about goes something along the lines of, “Sometimes you have to push people away.  The ones who care will never let go.”  I may have the wording off a little, but I’m unwilling to search for this particular diaper filler. 
If it kind of sounds like I have a problem or three with this statement, then good.  I do.  Let me see if I can explain. 
We all know that I have a history of mental instability.  The first thing this means is that situational depression seriously kicks my ass.  So when bad stuff happens to me, I withdraw into my head.  I stop going out and I stop calling people.  It sure as Hell isn’t that I stop caring about people.  It falls more in line with me questioning my value to others.  On rare occasions, I genuinely do want to be alone for a bit,  but that isn’t me ceasing to care about other people either.  The other side of this coin is that maybe everything is okay and I’ve just been really damn busy.  At any rate, sometimes I go radio-silent.
Let’s say for the sake of argument that I haven’t talked to you for a few days.  Odds are, that’s happened at some point or another, so it’s not that big of a stretch.  Are you really the sort of person who links their sense of self-worth to how often the phone rings or how many signs of approval you get on the internet?  I’m not saying that we can’t be friends if you are, but life is easier when you can find some degree of internal happiness.  I will admit that I do get a little bit of pseudo-happiness when I hear from someone by phone or text, and posting things to social sites often seems like a desire for approval. 
My last problem is more of a chicken/egg situation.  Or maybe a creationism/science one.  I’ll let you decide your favorite metaphor because all the ones I really like are violent.  I see someone post the “see who cares” message.  All I can imagine is duets of people reading this and waiting for the other to call.  If all parties are playing what I’m seeing as victims, then all phones and inboxes remain inert.  I mean, someone has to be the first to move!  I feel like I need to post a “picture” explaining this.  Instead of waiting for someone else to show that they care, tell them you do! If it weren’t for the fact that this was written at 3 AM, I’d be sending you a message right now.

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