I regret nothing.  I have lived as few men dare to dream.

That said, I’m rediscovering the joys of treading water in my own personal whirlpool of shit.  Shitpool.  Whirlstool.  Ha.  I like that last one.  

I am a sucker.  Or a chump.  Or a goddamned idiot.  Except, as I am ever fond of saying, I don’t have to be just one thing.  I’ve done…  well… something.  It’s actually a thing I can’t talk about.  So, being vague on the internet.  I like it as much as you do, but the upside is that I doubt I have readers at this point.  I’ve ceased advertising when I post, and I hadn’t been posting frequently anyway.  

Now, rather than devoting time and space and effort to inchoate rambling about X that I did and can’t talk about, I’ll ramble about the other thing.  I disabled my Facebook account.  Why?  Here we go…

I have said regularly that I’m not a fan of passive aggressive.  I don’t like the victim’s mindset.  I don’t like heavy-handed manipulating.  I don’t like “pictures” that are really just huge font platitudes.  I don’t like apostrophe abuse.  This list keeps getting longer.  Really, I just don’t remember enjoying Facebook.  Most of my posts ended up being check-ins on Foursquare and pictures from Instagram (although I hold fast to the rule that one does NOT post pics of food).  I was reminded, rather heavy-handedly, of all of these facts recently.  I thought about it for a bit, then I requested an archive of all the shit I’ve posted.  Then I deactivated the account.  

There are downsides.  First and foremost, I do have friends and family whose only contact with me was via that particular social media site.  Second, there is an astounding number of pictures on the site that I don’t have copies of anywhere else.  Important pictures.  My son.  My knighting.  Basically, it’s the only way I can think of to see me the way other people do.  

There are behavioral changes involved here too.  One of the more interesting ones is that now when I obsessively check my phone, I don’t have anything to read.  I’ve had to search out news sites.  I have an Android phone, and Google offers some of the classics; I have started in on H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine.  I’ve been posting to Twitter a little more regularly and I’ve been writing more than that.  People can now show me things I haven’t seen in person.  There’s a point to small talk because I haven’t already read a typo-ridden passive aggressive version of all my friends’ stories.

It can’t last.  I admit that I will reactivate the account.  At the very least, there are all the pictures.  Additionally, although my views on family may be a little skewed, that doesn’t mean I don’t care about them.  It’s just nice to be able to pry myself free from the claws of something so insidious.  It makes me feel powerful during the winter doldrums.  Yeah, Facebook, I’ll be back.  Maybe after the first of 2013.  Until then, maybe I can be productive at a computer.

    • jmcq
    • December 26th, 2012

    I like “whirlstool” too. You still have at least one reader.

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